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![ADOPTABLE [OPEN] - 241](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/bfc99206-9412-4f3c-9bf6-a4000095d212/dh1xu7a-3914aaf8-bdd7-4890-a099-1070974e183b.png/v1/fill/w_350,h_350,q_70,strp/adoptable__open____241_by_haandae_dh1xu7a-350t.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTAyNCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2JmYzk5MjA2LTk0MTItNGYzYy05YmY2LWE0MDAwMDk1ZDIxMlwvZGgxeHU3YS0zOTE0YWFmOC1iZGQ3LTQ4OTAtYTA5OS0xMDcwOTc0ZTE4M2IucG5nIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTEwMjQifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.svbcRZ7nPEXvstvq4vPznj2gGC7JmtEqqzujYXj-UFI)
Hurt is all that follows love, love will never be eternal. Truth has strucken life and realism hit and I've bowed and surrendered.
© 2013 - 2024 Jacob-C-Wolf
Comments4
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This is interesting. Your description says that Hurt follows love but it is the first word in the poem. I got the feeling that every line presents a succeeding sensation, but it could be working back from the present standpoint? The Hurt in the poem sounds like it came before the Loss of love chronologically, so when it was still dying?
Conclusion gives a startling finality to it, like love is gone for good.
Is the description a continuation of the poem or a form of evaluation?
I don't wanna sound like a hater - and I see you were working under a six word limit - but many of these words are used so often that they lose meaning. "Pain," "Love" have become generalized and empty terms. So you may want to zoom in - look at the products and symptoms - you want to express hurt and love without saying "hurt" or "love", like how in a story a reader should be able to tell that a character is mad by their words and actions and not by the narrator saying he's angry, the best poetry makes emotions without having to say what it is. Concrete diction - things that can be explained through the five senses - can be used to better express abstract things - things that can't be so physically explained - like love and other emotions, concepts, or beliefs. Creating "experience" through "concrete imagery" - [link] <- this is a screen-shot I took off a page of an Intro. to Creative Writing syllabus from last year the link goes to my sta.sh so it doesn't leave DA so click its. I could hook you up with some digital copies of the readings from the course which were used as examples. I think the longest one is 10 pages in a word document, so I can email them to you.
I'm scared of sounding like I think I'm a know-it-all. I'm no Hermione. I got a -B in Introduction to Fiction
But I think you could benefit from the course stuff and I want to beats the system man!
people pay thousands of dollars for a degree when they could learn all that knowledge through extensive use of the library system. It's all about the right books man.
Conclusion gives a startling finality to it, like love is gone for good.
Is the description a continuation of the poem or a form of evaluation?
I don't wanna sound like a hater - and I see you were working under a six word limit - but many of these words are used so often that they lose meaning. "Pain," "Love" have become generalized and empty terms. So you may want to zoom in - look at the products and symptoms - you want to express hurt and love without saying "hurt" or "love", like how in a story a reader should be able to tell that a character is mad by their words and actions and not by the narrator saying he's angry, the best poetry makes emotions without having to say what it is. Concrete diction - things that can be explained through the five senses - can be used to better express abstract things - things that can't be so physically explained - like love and other emotions, concepts, or beliefs. Creating "experience" through "concrete imagery" - [link] <- this is a screen-shot I took off a page of an Intro. to Creative Writing syllabus from last year the link goes to my sta.sh so it doesn't leave DA so click its. I could hook you up with some digital copies of the readings from the course which were used as examples. I think the longest one is 10 pages in a word document, so I can email them to you.
I'm scared of sounding like I think I'm a know-it-all. I'm no Hermione. I got a -B in Introduction to Fiction
But I think you could benefit from the course stuff and I want to beats the system man!
people pay thousands of dollars for a degree when they could learn all that knowledge through extensive use of the library system. It's all about the right books man.